I wrote this story for my thesis when I was a grad student at The Solstice Program at Pine Manor College. It came to me during a workshop where we were writing down memories from our teen years. The memory that came to me was sophomore year, homecoming. I had a WICKED crush on a soccer player—this was during my chubby year—and he and I had been doing a little flirty flirt in the hallway and at a few of his games. Homecoming came up and through friends, I was told that he wanted to meet me there. I was so psyched!
So I got together to get ready and drive to homecoming with 19 other girls all at my house. I have a picture of us all, posed in my living room in front of the fireplace. A picture that has circulated FB and was part of our slideshow at the 20 year reunion. We are coiffed and grinning, especially me. I wore a strapless dress because with my new chubby body came big boobs and the dress was black so I felt hot for the first time since putting on the extra 30 from freshmen year.
When I arrived at the dance, I saw him in the corner with his soccer friends and his little sister, who was in my algebra class, shuffled over and said that he wanted to dance with me. . . this was a boy who definitely was in a higher social stratosphere than me, and I was so nervous. A slow song came on and he and I locked eyes, like every teen movie from the 80s and 90s. We met in the middle of the dance floor and he wrapped me in his arms and we swayed together. . . and he gave me little (very wet) kisses on my bare neck. And then. . . .it’s kind of a blur when I look back, but I know there was the heavy stench of alcohol, and I know that he left the dance floor and returned, sweaty and smelling of both throw-up and alcohol. I know there were slurred declarations of love and that he continued to wrap his arms and lips around me. . . in a way that required his sister to try and peel him off. . . I am pretty sure he was eventually escorted out of the dance. My one chance with my super crush was ruined. . . forever. We never, ever spoke again for the rest of high school.
To order a copy of volume three, go here. (This is Hannah’s Amazon Author Page, which has all three volumes of Sucker.)